A commercial came up to buy the famous hits of Patsy Cline.  Raphael rolled his eyes.

Heartland Music Presents, A once in a lifetime deal on the greatest hits of Patsy Cline.

"Crazy," Patsy purred.  "Crazy for-" Raph hit the mute button.

"Crazy for even listening to this god-awful shit!"  He mumbled.

Silence filled the room.  Raphael slowly breathed out again, glancing at their ancient VCR clock.  It was after midnight.

"Movie musta gotten out by now."  He looked to the lair's entrance.  No one came through.  "Maybe they grabbed a bite to eat."

Minutes passed.  Without a warning, the pay phone started to ring.  Raph jolted in his seat and ran to grab it before it rang twice.

"It's your dime, spill it!"

"Hi, is Josette there?"  Said a sweet female voice.

Raphael glanced around the lair.  "Sorry, lady.  There's no one here by that name.  I think you have the wrong number."

"Oh, sorry to bother you."

"Yeah, whatever."

The girl quickly hung up before Raphael did.  His response was a shrug and a quick turn back to the couch.  John Belushi was about to do his impression of a Samurai chopping up food when the phone rang again.  Raph spun around to grab it again before the second ring.

"Huxtable's residence?"  He grinned to throw the person off.

"Huh?"  A dim-witted voice said.

"Never mind.  Wha do ya want?"

"Um, is Mike there?"

Raphael stopped the gags and sobered up, knowing Michaelangelo tends to tell people his name is Mike.

"Mike who?"  Obviously his brother wouldn't give a last name.

"Wait, hang on...."  The guy drifted off as if looking for the name.  Raphael shifted off the weight on his foot with impatience.  He glanced to the TV, watching John Belushi in mute.  Damn!  Didn't get to hit the mute button again!  "Hang on, sir.  I have it somewhere...."  Sir?   Now, Raph was becoming upset.

"Look, I don't know how you got this number but when you find what you're looking for, call me back, alright?"  Not that Raph wanted him to.

"Um, okay.  Thanks.  Can I get your-"

Raphael flung the phone down, cutting him off.  He didn't have time for losers like him.  He was able to reach the couch and un-mute the TV before the phone got his attention again.

"Yell-oh?"

"Are you sure this isn't Josette's number?  She told me this was it exactly."

Raph sighed.  "Look lady, I'm tellin' ya, there's no one here by that name."

"But it's important that I speak with her."  The girl's voice squeaked.  "She said she had something to give me."

"Like what, a music box?"  Raphael chuckled, making a funny about Dark Shadows.  The girl was quiet for a few seconds.  Raph looked into the phone.  "Are you still there?"

"How did you know she had a music box?"  Her voice suddenly shrilled up.

"I didn't.  I just was joking around, that's all."

"Let me speak with Josette."

Raphael groaned.  "Jeez, lady!  Ya got cotton in your ears?  I said there's no one here by that name!"

"Okay, fine.  I'll call Brittney and ask her for the number."

"Fine, call Brittney.  Call the whole goddamn pep squad for all I care!  Just don't call here, okay?  Cuz you won't find who yer lookin' for at this number!"

The girl hung up first again.  Raphael was now becoming furious with all these interruptions.  He slammed the phone down and went to the couch, for once able to sit for another ten minutes.  Just in time to watch more commercials.  He glared at the phone with such hatred.

"Hate you!"  The phone did nothing.  Before Raph turned his head fully back to the screen, the phone blared out again.  Raph flew up out of his seat.  "Yeah?!"  Was his answer.

"Um, hi.  It's me, again.  I got his last name.  Um..."  Raph pounded a fist into the wall.  "I think it's Japanese.  It's like Hammuto, Homato, Hamotto.  Um..."

"How did you get this number?"  Raph's voice was a low rattle.

"Huh?"

"I said, how...did....you....get.... this number?!"

"Oh, well, dude!  It's like this.  I'm at a bar and there's this guy hitting on some chicks.  I said to him what's his secret cuz you know I have a long history of like bad relationships and all.  Like my last girlfriend was really hot but I didn't know how to please her so-"

"Listen, asshole!  I didn't ask for your goddamn life story!  Just tell me how you got this number!"

"Oh!  A guy named Mike Hamato gave it to me.  Do you know him?"

"Nope, never heard of him.  Good-bye."

Raphael hung up first, invisible steam rising from the top of his head.  He took one more glance around the lair, surprised Leo or Splinter didn't come out after hearing him raise his voice.  He slowly walked back to the couch.  It was after 12:30.  Saturday Night Live was over.  Raphael grumbled and picked up the remote, starting at channel 2 and flipping upward.  He caught a movie on channel 6.

"Do you like scary movies?"

Flipped again toward the upper channels.

"Did you check on the children?"

This must have been thriller night.  Raphael continued to channel surf, finding nothing of interest.  A ringing jolted him from his zoning out.

"Goddamn it!  Who the hell is calling now?!"  He asked aloud.  He snatched up the phone on the first ring.  "What the fuck do you want?!"

"Do you always start phone conversations like that, Raph?"

Raphael straightened up and took in a deep breath.  "Ahhh, sorry Donny.  I didn't know it was you."

"Right, Raph.  Look, Mike and I got out a little late because the film projector was experiencing technical difficulties."

"Terrific.  Did you save the day with your brainaic knowledge?"

"Ha, ha.  If you must know, I spent about forty-five minutes watching Mike play Street Fighter with some other kid in the arcade.  The announcer called us back in when the projector was finally fixed.  I guess I could say it was worth waiting for.  I really enjoyed it."

"That's great, Don."  Donatello could hear the sarcasm in his voice.  "So, when're you comin' home?"

"Well, Mike wants to grab a bite to eat.  I can't figure out where he's packing it all.  We just finished a large popcorn, nachos, Junior Mints, Red Vines and gulped down a huge Cherry Coke.  I feel like I want to bust but Mike insisted we get some real food.  I suggested ordering a pizza and taking it home."

"That's sounds cool.  There's not much in here and since I didn't get any junk food to eat with my shows, I wouldn't mind eating a slice or six."

"Then, it's settled.  We'll go pick up some pies and head back home.  We'll probably be in a little after 1:30."

"Alright, hey, before I let you go, are you going to call here anymore?"

"No, why?"

"I'm thinking of leaving the phone off the hook."

"Getting a lot of crank calls?"

"You could say that."

"Well, I wouldn't worry about it too much.  Mike knows a lot of people so it just may be his fan club checking in."

"Aw, jeez-"

"Tell me about it.  Yes, I'm coming, hang on!"  Donatello's voice drifted.  "Gotta go.  Mike's got a munchy attack."

"Whatever.  K, late bro."

"See ya, Raph."

Raphael hung up the phone and stood by it, knowing it was going to ring again.  He looked left to right.  Even in his bravest state, the dark corridors of the lair gave him the chills.  Anyone or anything can be sitting in those dark passages, waiting to spring out when the victim is alone and off-guard.

Raphael turned toward the entrance, applying his belt and sais to his waist.  His mask and pads were already on him since he had slept in after their roundabouts on the streets from earlier.  He paced the room, spinning a sai like it were a baton.  He stepped into the kitchen next, poking his sai into a tree of red grapes from a bowl in the noisy fridge.  He was bored as he stared at the punctured grape stuck on the pointed end of his weapon.

"Might rust the blade while doing this."  He muttered and bit the grape off with his teeth.  He heard a faint sound of a ring coming from the living room.  "Don't worry, the machine will get it."  He said quietly.  Yeah, right.  What machine?  The phone rang four times now.  Raphael slowly walked back into the room, lazily lifting the phone from its cradle.

"Vinni's Pizza?  If it's not delivered within 30 minutes, it's free."  Raphael grinned again.  The phone clicked.  His grin faded.  "No sense of humor, I guess."

The lair was quiet again.  The agonizing wait for a pizza made his stomach growl.  The phone got his attention once more.

"Hello?"  He was getting tired of the different answers he gave.  No one spoke.  Though, the line was still on, he could hear someone breathing.  "Alright, buddy.  I've seen Student Bodies before.  Are you known as the Breather?"

"I'm known as Death."  A growl-tone voice replied.  Raphael nodded.

"Sure, okay.  So, you're calling in to set up an appointment?"

"I want you dead."

"Right.  And what time should I come in?"

"Your time has come now, Raphael."

Raphael nervously looked around the lair, including the dark corridors.

"Okay, Mike!  You got me!  I'm officially scared shit-less.  You can quit the gag now."

More breathing whispered into Raph's ear.  He could feel the goosebumps rising up all over his body.

"Mike?"

"Whatever you do, don't look up."  The phone clicked.

Raphael swallowed, wondering what the guy meant by that.  He placed the phone back, looking up with his eyes but keeping his head straight.  Nothing happened.   Forgetting about it, he turned to leave and smacked right into a skeletal face shrouded in a black cloak and carrying a large butcher knife.

"Holy shit, man!"  Raph backed away, clutching his sais.  "You wouldn't happen to know Sydney, would you?"  He joked.

"I warned you."

The large butcher knife came up from the right and sliced Raph's shoulder blade.  Raph howled and threw the assailant to the ground.  The two ended up in a rumble right on the living room rug, blood spurting out from Raph's wound.  Kicks and punches were of little use as Raphael drew a sai within seconds as the figure sliced and diced thin air.  Both of Raph's feet sent the cloaked figure flying off into a dark corridor with Raph doing a back handspring up into a standing position.  His sais were drawn out and his face glared deeply in the corridor.

"Don't worry, my ass, Boy Genius!  People can trace this number ya know!"

Raph waited for the figure to counter attack.  He thought he saw a white glow of his face grinning twistly at him.  He had to get Leonardo.  Turning away, he started to run but felt a sharp blow to the head, knocking him down on the ground.  The last words he heard were, "Your time has come now.  Raphael."

The others found him on the rug unconscious.  Leonardo shook him violently with Splinter watching overhead.  Mike placed a slice of pizza close to his nostrils, the aroma filling his body.  Raphael stirred slowly with gasps of relief around him.

"Told ya the pizza gets him everytime!"  Michaelangelo looked proud.

"Are you all right, my son?  What has happened to you?"  Splinter asked as he and Leonardo helped him to the couch.

"I dunno, sensei.  I just had one hell of a night, that's all.  Can't remember much except for lying on the floor with a massive headache!"

"That bump on your head is starting to swell.  I'll go get you an ice pack."  Splinter padded his arm before disappearing into the kitchen.

Raphael spun around to view lair.  "Bump?"

"Yeah, you hit your head pretty hard, bro.  Good thing your hard headed!"  Michaelangelo grinned.

"But I didn't hit my head!  Somebody hit me!"  Raphael stood up and looked down each corridor.  His brothers stared with puzzlement.

"Raph, there's no one here."  Leonardo said calmly.  "It was probably your imagination."

Raph clenched his fists with frustration.  "No.  I remember fighting with this guy.  He wanted to kill me."

"Who was he?  How did he get in?"  Leonardo crossed his arms.

"I don't know.  I talked to him on the-"

The phone started to ring and the memory flowed back to Raph.  Everyone stopped and looked at it.  Donatello walked over and picked it up.

"Hello?  Who?  Yeah, he's here.  Just a second."  Donatello outstretched the phone to Michaelangelo.  "Attn: Mike the President of the Truly Bodacious Fan Association.  Followers worshiping the ground you walk on seek to have one or two words of wisdom with their god."

Michaelangelo frowned.  "Heh?"

Donatello grinned.  "It's for you."

Before Michaelangelo could take it, Raphael snatched it, hanging it back on the cradle.

"Hey!"  Michaelangelo yelped.  "What'd you do that for?"

"That phone is the whole reason why I was found unconscious, Mike."

"So, what do we do if someone important tries to call us?"

Raphael looked to Donatello.  "Get an answering machine installed."

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